


'cause i don't want to be alone (when i'm in this state)

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Pureblood Society (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: “Jemma,” he whispered when she had shown up at his apartment that night. “What happened?”“They kicked me out,” she told him, stepping over the threshold and collapsing into his embrace as her knees buckled. “They kicked me out.”Sinking to the ground with her, he let her curl against him on the floor, his back against the wall as she sobbed. He knew that she had never gotten on with her family, that despite the environment she was raised in, she never agreed with the beliefs that they had about blood purity and who should be allowed to learn the art of magic.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	'cause i don't want to be alone (when i'm in this state)

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me! Writing fic again! I've been wanting to do this AU for while now. Ted and Andromeda are one of my fav Harry Potter couples so getting to do this for Fitzsimmons was so much fun. This fic is much darker than some of the stuff but I hope that you enjoy this one.

Her father had never slapped her before.

He had been emotionally abusive.

He had spent years tormenting her, telling her that she would never be good enough, that she would never be like her sisters, both older and younger.

But he had never hit her.

Not once.

Not until tonight.

She hadn’t meant for Bella to find the letters. She had always made sure she hid them, locked them away so that no one would ever find them. But tonight - it had been a simple mistake, one slip up that was going to cost her everything.

She had been reading the most recent one when Bella had come barging into the room, flashing a brand new engagement ring that probably cost more than she had in her bank account at that moment in time, elated that she was now to be wed to probably one of the most powerful and influence wizard families that there was. But to Jemma, this had been a shock. Bella wasn’t supposed to be home, not this early anyway. And her door shouldn’t have been unlocked. She always kept it locked.

Always. It had been a foolish mistake, thinking that it would be safe to keep it unlocked. As when her older sister had caught sight of the letters, she went to grab them and Jemma wasn’t quick enough to get there before her. And upon seeing them, all joy from getting engaged had vanished as there was something much more interesting happening to her now.

“It’s him, isn’t it? The _Mudblood_?” She was rifling through the letters, scanning them as quickly as she could and trying to take in as many words as she could. Trying to work out why her younger sister had been oh so secretive all summer. And then she saw it. 

Saw his words of love.

All of his secrets.

She saw his promises that he would get her away from here, away from her family.

Somewhere where she could be happy and away from the icy grip of her father. 

And now Bella had seen all of that. “You love him. That _one_ from your year. Fitz." From the tone of her voice, she sounded shocked and disgusted, even struggling to speak Fitz’s name. "The one that you spent all that time with... So that's what you were doing with him... You had fallen in love.” And it was in that moment that Jemma knew that she would be in so much trouble. That things in her life could go from bad to worse. Especially if...

“Father is going to be so disappointed.”

“Please,” Jemma begged, grabbing the sheets because she shouldn’t be fighting for the letters like she was a child. She was eighteen. She was an adult who had graduated a handful of months before and now she was like a scared child, worried about what her older sister would tell her father. “Don’t tell him.”

But it was no use for her sister had already taken the letters and left her room, the creaking of the stairs betraying where her sister was going.

And it was only moments later that her father was bellowing her name, demanding that she come downstairs, and slowly she dragged herself from where she had been curled up on the bed and made her way downstairs. 

She had wiped the tears from her face as she had walked, as slowly as she could get away with so that when she finally arrived in the drawing-room, head bowed, she looked at least presentable. Her father was rifling through the letters, a disgusted look. “What is the meaning of this? Is this the boy? Fitz? The one who was the head boy?”

She nodded but the gesture was so subtle it would have been easy to miss. She remembered how proud her father had been when she had gotten head girl, something that was short-lived when it was discovered that Fitz was head boy. 

And it was during those days that she had gotten closer to Fitz, these days that they had hidden away and wasted time with each other whenever there was time to waste. Kisses had been stolen, and late-night dates shared. He respected her need to keep their relationship private and now because of one simple mistake things were all going to fall apart. 

“You love him?” he had asked her, his voice level but full of malice. “You love this boy?”

At first, she hadn’t answered, knowing that anything that she said would be the wrong thing but it seemed as though even remaining silent was the wrong thing to do. “Do you love him? Answer me!” Her father had snapped then, the last threads of his restraint breaking. And at first, she didn’t even realise he had slapped her, it was only in the moments after when she had stumbled into the china cabinet with her face on fire that she knew what had happened.

That her father had hit her.

It shocked her. 

Horrified her.

That her father would ever do something like this to her.

But then as her mind cleared, as the stars floating in front of her vanished, the reality of what was happening started to dawn on her. She wasn’t part of this family, not really. Their beliefs were ones that she refused to share but with this… it would be a step too far. At least in his eyes.

He would rather her dead than marry a Muggleborn.

“Do you love him?”

And she nodded, knowing that whatever she said would be wrong, that her father would take his anger out on her once again. His eyes were cold, he was no longer her father, a man she wished she could describe as loving, but knowing if she did she would be lying to herself. No, now he was just one of the members of an ancient house, who was more worried about the purity of blood than most other things.

“You love him?”

She nodded again, and things went from bad to worse. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in close. “You’re no daughter of mine,” he hissed the words as he pushed her back, and she stumbled once more into the china cabinet, this time hitting it in such a way that she fell to the floor. Several plates fell, shattering as they hit both the ground and Jemma. One managed to catch her hairline, the sharp shard tearing at her skin. It didn’t take long before she felt it, sticky and warm against her skin - blood was snaking down her forehead before dropping onto her mother’s vintage rug. She tried not to cry, tried not to give her father what he wanted, but the shaky sob that escaped her was the one that betrayed her.

“I want you out of here. Now.” The words from her father were a demand, and she knew that there was no use arguing.

She would never win against her father.

“If you want to be with someone like him, then you can be with someone like him.” He threw the letters into the fire, the flames eating away at the parchment. “Pack what you want, and then I never want to see you again.” Turning on his heel, he left the room without another word, and not even mourning the loss of one of his daughters. Because she was no longer his daughter, not anymore.

In desperation, she looked at her mother, and at her sister both of whom had looks, she did not want to see. Her mother looked ashamed and wouldn’t even meet her eye whilst her sister looked proud and smug as if getting her disinherited had been something that she wanted.

***

“Jemma,” he whispered when she had shown up at his apartment that night. “What happened?”

“They kicked me out,” she told him, stepping over the threshold and collapsing into his embrace as her knees buckled. “They kicked me out.”

Sinking to the ground with her, he let her curl against him on the floor, his back against the wall as she sobbed. He knew that she had never gotten on with her family, that despite the environment she was raised in, she never agreed with the beliefs that they had about blood purity and who should be allowed to learn the art of magic. He knew her father was abusive, favouring her sisters over her.

He had had a feeling that one day, potentially, a situation like this would occur. That their relationship would be known to her family. But he hadn’t expected her to show up like this, bruised and bloodied, sobbing on his floor. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in closer, pressing gentle kisses on the top of her head, wishing that he could take the pain away. Wishing that the hurt that she was experiencing was something that could be magicked away.

But it wasn't. And all that he could do for the time being was hold her, and for how long he didn't know. He just held her as she sobbed, allowing her to get all of her emotions out. “You can stay here. You’re always welcome here.”

“But what if I… I shouldn’t Fitz. What if I put you in danger? You don’t know what they’re like. What _his_ followers are like.” A shudder ran through her at this thought. She had had the first-hand experience. She knew just how dangerous the world was. Just how much danger _they_ were in.

Her sister had sworn loyalty to Hive, had worked her way up through the ranks and was now one of the highest-ranking followers there was.

Her younger sister though she wasn’t one herself, had fallen for someone who was. It made her just as bad. Just as guilty.

And her parents, well they had made their views clear. 

“You won’t.” He stood up, offering her a hand and after thinking for a moment, cautious about taking such a friendly gesture but she did. “Now c’mon. Let’s have something to eat and then go to bed.”

***

“I have to leave,” she told him, packing her bags. It had been a handful of months now since she had fled to Fitz’s in the dead of the night. But after what had happened earlier that day, “I can’t stay here Fitz. I’m so so sorry.”

“But… what she did, what happened to my mother isn’t your fault.”

“My sister murdered her.” Jemma’s voice was frantic and full of sheer panic. “She killed her because she can’t get to me! The longer that I stay with you, the more danger I put you in.”

“You can’t just leave.” He reached out and took hold of her wrist as she tried to leave the bedroom. “Jemma.” He turned so they were face to face. “You are _not_ your sister. You aren’t like your family. This isn’t your fault.”

“But if you’d never met me, you wouldn't have fallen for me and your mother would still be alive and I can’t… I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with myself, knowing that her blood is on my hands." Jemma was all but begging at this point.

But Fitz thought otherwise and wasn't going to hear a word of it. “I know what your sister is like. Just how dangerous she is and not once do I blame you. I know how she tortured you, tormented you through school and not once did you stoop to her level. Not once did you behave as she did. And your family… fuck them.” Jemma was breathing heavy, staring up at him. “You’re not them. You will never be like them. You’re… you’re one of the best people that I know. And I can't imagine my life without you, Jemma. I don't want to imagine my life without you. Because every day that I wake up beside you, every moment that I spend with you, they're the best moments that I have. The moments that I value the most Jemma. I love you."

The three words hung between them, and though this was not the first time they had ever been said, they seemed to mean more than before. 

The seconds slowly ticked by before Jemma closed the distance between them, reaching up and placing one hand on his cheek. 

Without really thinking about what he was doing, he returned the kiss. One that started off tender and gentle, but soon turned rough. Passionate. 

Her hand moved from his cheek, running her hands through his curls. His own were on her waist, pulling her in closer, wanting to enjoy every moment of this. Wanting it to never end. The heat between them was hotter than it had ever been, and slowly her hands worked their way down to his shirt, undoing each of the buttons.

"The bedroom," she whispered when they pulled apart for the briefest of moments to catch their breath. "Please."

"Yeah, yeah," he responded, his words hanging in the air between them, a promise of what was to come.

And thought the night was wonderful, full of fiery passion when she awoke the next morning wrapped in his embrace, the tears from the night before were still clinging to her eyelashes.

***

“So what do we do now?” she asked him, nursing their daughter in her arms. The world was still at war. And with each day that passed, there were more disappearances, more murders. It was dangerous out there, and with the crime she had committed by marrying Fitz, by starting a family with him, she knew there was a bounty on their heads.

That they were in constant danger.

She knew that things wouldn’t be easy, not until Hive was defeated and there were still days that she was adamant she had made the wrong decision by staying. There were days that she thought that she should have snuck out in the middle of the night and ran. 

Ran until she couldn't go any further.

But now with the birth of their daughter, that was something that could never be done. She had responsibilities. She couldn’t run away from her problems, not anymore. She was an adult. She had to face these problems head-on, whenever they might show themselves. 

Fitz remained silent for a moment, unsure of how to answer because they were in danger, each and every day. After his mother’s murder, after she had been buried, Fitz had taken the two of them back to Hogwarts and demanded some form of protection for the two of them. Saying that with everything that had happened, they were at risk each and every day. Thankfully, it didn't take much to persuade Coulson.

And now they were hiding in a cottage in the Perthshire countryside, waiting for the war to be over. Coulson had told them that it was something he was working on, that by the end of the year, it would all be over. But he refused to say more than that, refused to tell him what the plan was and how it would be done.

So they tried to live the best they could, as ghosts to the world. 

“I don’t know,” he told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he tried to close the non-existent distance between them. “But whatever comes, next we’ll face it like we’ve faced everything before.”

“Together.”


End file.
